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This is sooooo unfair! Or maybe not?

I can feel those tell-tale signs now, signs I’ve now come to know so well. The first little cramp, the slight dizziness, the sore throat, and I know that, once again, this month was not the month for me.

It’s funny (or at least it is now, in hindsight), when people tell me ‘Chidinma, stop crying, at least you can get pregnant. You’re lucky’…hmm…I don’t feel lucky at all. Everytime I miss my period and take a pregnancy test which comes out positive, I start planning for my baby.

I start buying items and clothes, not minding the fact that I probably already have a version of that same item in the room I’ve mapped out as a nursery, all I think about is how cute this new version is.

See, to me, my baby is already on the way. The bond is formed the minute I see that second red line or that ‘Pregnant 1-2weeks’. And that baby is the only thing I can think about from that time till the day I start bleeding again, till the day I have another miscarriage. So, no, I don’t think I’m ‘lucky’ I can get pregnant.

It doesn’t help any when I read in the news of a girl who gave birth and didn’t want the baby and tried to flush the baby down the toilet, or the one who strangled her baby to death, or the one who, with her boyfriend, sexually molested her baby! It used to make me mad, and I wondered why I, with so much love in my heart to give my children, didn’t have any, and those women who didn’t want them got them as easy as pie!

This journey has been a hard one for me. I’ve stayed away from my friends, even when they’ve tried to reach out to me. I’ve all but buried myself in a self-constructed shell.

But you know what? It makes me long harder for the 3 children I know God will bless me with soon, and it actually makes me feel sorry for these women who don’t know what beautiful gifts they’ve been blessed with.

It also makes me question myself too, because I, too, have been guilty of not caring about things that have come so easy to me.

I resolve that, this year, I will reach out to my friends. I’m sure the journey will be less of a hassle with some good people on my side. And I’m looking forward to next month with all the hope in my little heart.

I’m sorry for the rant…just sharing from my little kitchen.

Chidinma
 

Hi, my name is Chidinma. I’ve been happily married for 4+ years (actually almost 6 years now), and my husband and I have been trying to have our own children for almost all the time we’ve been married, with no success…yet. We haven’t lost hope (far from it), and we believe it will happen very soon.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 61 comments
Patience Gabriel - January 29, 2014

God will give u your hearts desires in Jesus name.

Sent from my iPad

>

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stephanie - January 29, 2014

my dear, av not met u but I share in ur pain and anguish. but know one thing as u have said it with your mouth about the 3 kids u will have so has the universe have heard and the power of your spoken word will definitely materialise. God is forever faithful and he will honour his words in your life. stay lifted and blessed.

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chinenye - January 29, 2014

It is well my dear cos I know God is definately in control & ur prayer had been answered. Just keep on trusting & believing in Him! Exodus 23:26 holds a promise for u! Keep us posted when it’s time for d naming ceremony oh!

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    Haaaa, I will share my joy, just like I’ve shared my pain. I will announce the naming ceremony from the rooftops. LOL!

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Ozi - January 29, 2014

Hi am an ardent follower of your blog and had to reach out to you on this topic. My sister went through the same thing I have lost count of the number of miscarriages she has had she found out that she needs to be on some sort of drug before she takes in to hold the pregnancy

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    Hi, Ozi. Thank you so much. I’m sending you an email now.

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Ema Leecious - January 29, 2014

I totally understand your pain. I’ve been there once, so I know no matter of “nice talk” will ever soothe that pain. But the assurance I have is that God will never make a mistake. Just hang in there dear and remain strong. He will grant your desires in time. lotts of hugs.

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    He never has made a mistake, and He never will. Thank you for understanding.

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nma - January 29, 2014

The voice of jubilation will be heard in your household.

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venuss - January 29, 2014

Ooh! My sweet potatoe, Omalicha ma, adugwu,!!! Lol. Start singing songs of praise . You are closer than you can imagine. (((Hugs)))

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    Veeee, thank you. I know that, just needed to vent a bit.

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wives connection - January 29, 2014

The fruit of the womb is his reward: The expectation of the righteous shall not be cut short: He makes all things beautiful in his time: Fear not for “I am with you ALWAYS:” If our earthly parents know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more the creator himself: Weeping might endure for a night but joy comes in the morning: He is not a man and cannot lie.
RECEIVE IT IN JESUS NAME.

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    Awww, Aunt Eya, this means a lot to me. Thank you!

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Tochy - January 29, 2014

Aww it’s well with u…we shall celebrate with u soon ….omalicha…God wil surely surprise u .

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    Thank you, Tochy. I’m grateful for this.

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AlwaysT - January 29, 2014

Your children will hurry back. Those who destroyed you and laid waste to you will leave you. Look up, look around, and watch! All of your children are gathering together and returning to you. “I solemnly swear as I live,” declares the LORD, “you will wear all of them like jewels and display them on yourself as a bride would.

When God SWEARS, take him TOTALLY SERIOUS. They will come to you dear. Hugsssssss

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Mrs B - January 29, 2014

Chidinma, In the name of Jesus Christ, I speak peace into your life. It is well with your soul and your spirit. In your own womb, you’ll carry your foetus, on your own back, you’ll carry your own babies, then all that you and your husband need to raise godly and beautiful children, my El-Shaddai God will equip you guys with, and in your old age will your kids bury you, a blessesd mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, all these I declare into your life in the perfect name of Jesus Christ.
Please my darling, from now on with faith, sing praises, dance and celebrate, ‘cos it is settled!

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    Gina - January 29, 2014

    Amen!

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    I’m dancing Skelewu now. Lol. Thank you soooo much for these prayers. May they come true for you too.

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cyndi - January 29, 2014

Nne couldn’t help dropping some tears.I know wat u feel like.am glad u have learnt to vent and overcome.am so sure this year I shall be getting ready to fly down to abuja for naming ceremony.na 3 at once.its already well with u.God will perfect it.I trust and believe him for u.u are always in my prayers.soon we shall comment again.this tym shouting praaaaiiiissseee the looooorrrrrd!!!!.take good care of ur self dearie.God bless you.

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    I will hold you to that o. Make I no look for you ooo. Thank you so much. Yes, I feel much better now, was tired of holding it all in.

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honeychild - January 29, 2014

Deema. ……I just had to drop a line…….I am tearing up for you right now. But I know you are one awesome woman. You will never know how many lives you have touched with your posts. May God be your comfort. This, too, shall pass.

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    Chidinma - January 29, 2014

    Amen! Thank you for your kind words. I’m really grateful.

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muma - January 29, 2014

O my sweet deema, its well . He dat knowth all about us will visit you soon.

Hope you read cj’s post abt nigerian team scoring at ????? second half and won with 4-3. This is thetime dear. It must surely spring forth.

Much love

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    Chidinma - January 30, 2014

    I just read it, and it’s so true. May God answer our prayers. Thank you darl.

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Amakaasogwa - January 30, 2014

It is well with you Deema, your are a fruitful vine by the side of your husband’s house and your children are round about you like a palm trees. God will surely bless your womb. Just keep the faith and worry less. Please reach out to good friends that can encourage and pray with you through this journey I tell you it is not easy. I am also waiting on God for another and i know that the God that i serve who is an expert in wiping away tears will surely make us smile.
One love sister!

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    Chidinma - January 30, 2014

    Amen!!! I missed you o. Happy New Year. I trust the holidays were lovely fpr you?

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      Amakaasogwa - January 30, 2014

      Yes oh!Personal stuff but i still follow all your post. I am still here.Cheers

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ipio - January 30, 2014

Dearest Deema, its well with you, God will definetly give you double for your troubles, am getting ready to come to Abuja for naming, just be rest assured that God will do it. wonderful woman, God bless u

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    Chidinma - January 30, 2014

    I’ll lodge you at the Hilton for 7 nights. LOL. Amen!!!

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yettie - January 30, 2014

Its all been said above- you are soooo blessed and fruitful. Its who you are and you will greatly testify of God’s goodness to you. Stay strong, give praises and dont you dare let that stupid looser of the devil suggest anything to you. happy preggie mom!
By the way, i love your blog welldone!

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chinwe - January 31, 2014

2014 is the year of blessings and I know by the end of year we will be jollificating with u and ur bundle of joys. take heart dear. Our God never disappoints.

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    Chidinma - February 2, 2014

    Thank you, Chinwe. Meanwhile, new year, new lunch date?

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Sisiekomi - February 1, 2014

You are blessed and fruitful. You shall live to see your children’s children’s . Stay strong dear.

I came across your blog and I am so loving it. Keep up the good work.

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    Chidinma - February 10, 2014

    Amen! Your comments got caught up in spam. I’m really sorry about that.

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May - February 3, 2014

Oh Deema….Im jst seeing this…you shall not only carry your babies in your womb, you shall carry them on your arms, on your back and whichever place you wish to carry them lolz… IT is well. God is not asleep.

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    Chidinma - February 3, 2014

    May darling, Amen! May God hear and answer us.

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Tbaby - February 7, 2014

Oh Deema, I am just seeing this….. May God comfort you and bless you with blessed children. Love you dear.

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    Chidinma - February 7, 2014

    Tbaby, thank you darl. May God hear and answer us. Hugs and kisses…

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mummyf - February 8, 2014

((((((((hugs))))))) dearie, i dont even know what to say.
before this year runs out, we shall hear the cry of babies in ur home.
note i said babies. its well with u dear.

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Sazyn - February 8, 2014

Dreams, am just seeing this. So sorry luv. It’s well with you. Your babies are on the way, the 3 will come @once so u’ll just lock up shop….lol
(((((hugs)))))

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    Chidinma - February 8, 2014

    Loooooool @lock up shop. Sazyn, you are a sweetheart. Thank you so much. 4 for you ooo! xoxo

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peebunny - February 10, 2014

Hi Deema, just want to let you know that you are not alone in this, keep faith, you will carry your babies and hear their cries/laughter.
We will win this battle with PCOS, Endo and the likes, just keep up with the healthy lifestyle and don’t forget to always speak positively to yourself,power lies in our tongue.
*hugs*

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    Chidinma - February 10, 2014

    Thank you, Bunny, for reminding me about the power our tongues possess. I will really try to do this a lot more.

    *hugs* right back.

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Moyinoluwa - February 17, 2014

Oh Deema, just saw this post over the weekend. You will have your triplet this year by God’s grace. Huggs dear

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Sisi Yemmie - February 18, 2014

God will bless you with your heart’s desire and I really understand how you must feel sometimes. I have friends that have been married too and have no kids and every time I pray for them. I am not married yet though but I think we should all pray for each other! This is my first time on your blog. Love it!
http://www.sisiyemmie.com

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    Chidinma - February 18, 2014

    Yaaaaay! Sisi Yemmie, I’m blushing at your last lines. I looooooooove your blog, and I actually vote for you and Brother Yomi to win your dream wedding. I really hope you win it, you guys deserve it.
    Amen to your prayers, for us all!

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nnulia - February 23, 2014

‘Deema dear, just reading this! Don’t even know how to say “it is well” right now. May the joy of The Lord remain your strength. This too shall surely pass and your miracle shall break forth in Jesus name, amen.

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happiness - February 27, 2014

hi chibaby, just like he did it for hannah, sarah and many others. believe in him he will do it for you.there is nothing too diffcuilt for him to do. our lord is good.

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Amaka - February 27, 2014

Nma Love! The Bible says that there shall not be any barren woman in our midst and the same bible concluded it by saying that not even our cattle’s shall be barren. This is God’s word and his not a man that he will lie. The same bible said that heaven and earth shall pass away but my words shall never pass away. The same bible said that his taught for us is taught of good and not of evil. Nma Love my God has done it already, we are just waiting for the manifestation of his miracle. I have seen so many miracles for worst cases like a woman without womb giving birth to babies. 10yrs,17yrs and even 20yrs marriages giving birth even when they have lost all hope. Nma Love I will like you to form one habit for God. Habit of Thanksgiving, Praises and Worship. Stop asking God, start thanking God in anticipation of the miracle you are expecting and I promise you that God will disgrace you with this perfect gift. Love you .

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    Chidinma - February 27, 2014

    I do o! This was a moment of weakness, and I needed to rant. Thank you, and Amen.

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it is well - October 30, 2014

Saw ur blog today and i was wondering if you and ur husband know ur blood types. If the woman has the negative genotype and the husband has a positive genotype, this could to massive complications. With my mum, this was the case, i’m the only positive genotype out of four kids because by the time i was born, antibodies which didn’t recognize my blood type were formed(they attack the baby, thus killing it) and this led to her having two miscarriages. This happens sometimes in the last month of pregnancy or if the baby overstays and the mother and baby’s bloods mix. So do the check and find out as this could be causing your miscarriages. But all hope is not lost, as my mum went on to have four kids; God will do the same for you

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tiana - November 28, 2014

I know about losing a pregnancy. I also know about how much more it makes one appreciate the blessing of a child when they finally come. God wants to give you a big testimony therefore rather than feel sad, I rejoice with you darling sister. Delay is not denial. Stay fruitful!

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